Before You’re a Pastor’s Wife, You’re First God’s Child
- Jul 21, 2017
- 2 min read
For quite some time, I’ve been wondering if I should write for or about pastors’ wives. But what do I have to give? Advice – well, there’s a lot of women who have been a pastor’s wife longer than I’ve been alive. Guidelines – nah, there are several books lined up on the shelves already. However, I can’t deny the fact that there’s a burden in my heart for this specific group of women. A burden that has started a few months before I said “I do” to the love of my life.
Corey and I got engaged on New Year’s Eve (he knows I love transitions so he proposed at 9:10pm on December 31st). I immediately messaged our lead pastor’s wife the next day, “Uhm, so how do I become a good pastor’s wife?”
For months, that questioned nipped at my heels like an angry Chihuahua. At that time, Corey was the associate pastor of a fast-growing church and I was surrounded with strong, godly female leaders. I wanted to know what contribution I could give to our awesome church family. Then one day, this truth jumped out of my Bible’s page:
See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are!
- 1 John 3:1
Tell you what, this truth crumbled the pressure that had started to build up in my heart!
God calls me His child for that is who I am! I’ve been wrestling with my identity as a pastor’s wife, only to realize that this is a role that God has entrusted me, but that is not who I am. Similarly, Corey is a pastor, but that is a role that God has called him into at this season of our lives. Ultimately, his identity is not tied to what he does; it is anchored alone on his being a child of God.
As Corey has taken on the role of a lead pastor and we moved to another state, I still ask this question, once in a while, to check my growth in supporting my husband as a pastor. But now I understand that the only way I can function well in that role (on top of the many other roles a woman is called to) is when I know who I am in Christ – God's child.
To my sisters who are or will be in the role of a pastor’s wife, may this be an encouragement to you today. The struggles are real. The demands can be overwhelming. But know this: before you’re a pastor’s wife, you are first God’s child.
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